PARSHAS SHEMINI

Good Shabbos.    While most of us were busy yesterday putting away everything from Pesach and getting ready for the onset of Shabbos, my wife was cooking 19 chickens.  

You see, just before the onset of the last days of Yomtov, one of my children plugged in a Pesach deep fryer which we don’t generally use into the same circuit which controls the electricity to our freezer in the basement.  The wires couldn’t handle all that request for power so it blew the circuit.  My freezer died, the chickens defrosted, and they ended up having to all be cooked yesterday. 

While Goldie cooked the chicken, I read up about power surges and electrical overloads and I learned something which has an amazing similarity to this week’s Torah portion.  You see, every circuit has both a plus and a minus and it has electricity running through it.  But the most important part of the circuit is the resistance to the flow of current.  You see, when the power hits that resistance, then, for example, the compressor is powered and cools the freezer and all the chickens stay cold.   But, if this is too little resistance or if there is too much resistance, then an overload occurs and either the wires can burn or you can end up with 19 defrosted chickens like we did. 

What does this have to do with our portion?  You see, I think that is exactly what happened in our portion.  There was an overload or surge - not of electricity but an overload or an overdose OF LOVE. 

Can someone love too much?  I would like to say no, but I am afraid the answer is YES.  If you love an alcoholic so much that you give him money to buy more alcohol - it is too much love with not enough resistance.  If you love a child so much that you let them skip homework and play games instead - it is too much love without enough resistance.  The same is true in any relationship.  If you love too little, a marriage is doomed.  But if you love too much, especially when you don’t temper that love with restraint, such a marriage is equally disastrous.

People naturally yearn to be connected…, they desire to bond,…, they seek to attach.., -so they often hook up with another person with the expectation that “Love Conquers All“.  They figure if they can just “love each other” - then everything will be fine.  Divorce lawyers get rich because of such thinking!   For a marriage to work, and the same goes for most any other relationship, the love must be given with “resistance” so it can be accepted and appreciated by the recipient.  Love isn’t about the person doing the loving, it is about providing something of benefit to the person who is the recipient of that love.

When love is genuine and there is healthy restraint as outlined in the Torah, then the marriage can flourish and the love can flow.  But if the love burns with unbridled passion, with no limits or restraint, then the love “burns out” and the relationship is destructive.

In an electrical circuit, the attraction between the positive and negative charges creates a current of energy joining the two, forming what is called “a closed circuit”.  The natural tendency of a circuit is to seek the shortest possible route and to carry the highest possible current, to join the two sides. But if this is allowed to occur, the circuit can “overload” and “short out”, and may cause fire and harm instead of the benefits which had been intended.

In this regard, a relationship is quite similar to an electrical circuit.  The natural tendency of an attraction, like the natural tendency of a circuit, is to seek the shortest possible route and to carry the greatest amount of passion and love, to join the two sides.  But should this tendency be indulged - should the couple bypass the “resistance” of the Torah - then the circuit called marriage can “burn out” - destroying the connection between the two sides and likely causing fire and utter destruction.

This week’s Torah reading tells of the tragic death of Aharon’s two sons, Nadav and Avihu.  There are way to understand this episode and many lessons to learn.  One way to understand it is as follows:  After much work and anticipation, the Tabernacle was built and G-d’s Presence rested there.  Then, during the dedication ceremonies, “Nadav and Avihu each took a pan, put fire in it, and put incense spices on it, and offered strange fire before G-d”.  At that point, “A fire of G-d came down and consumed them, and they died.” (Vayikra 10:1-2).

What really killed these two Tzadikim was an overdose of love!

Once a year, on Yom Kippur, the High Priest would enter the innermost chamber of the Sanctuary, the Holy of Holies, to offer incense to G-d. This occasion - on which the most spiritual human being…, performed the most sacred service…, in the holiest place in the world…, on the holiest day of the year…., was the point of utmost intimacy which man could achieve with G-d.

Nadav and Avihu were righteous priests, but they were NOT High Priests!  The dedication of the Temple was a very special time but it was NOT Yom Kippur.  Yet they wanted intimacy with G-d now - for their love knew no bounds.

In their enthusiasm to bond and to express their love to G-d, they were not careful to respect the resistance as outlined in the Torah.  So while their goal was to love, since this love was given without the resistance of G-d’s law, the ensuing relationship violated that bond and caused death instead of life.

May G-d bless us all to realize that the greatest expression of love is when we love with the “proper resistance” as taught in the Torah so that the relationships we create are those of joy, goodness and blessing, and let us say Amain.