Parshas Behaear-Bechukosei

Good Shabbos!  I saw a friend this week who asked me a difficult question.  He has recently been diagnosed with an illness which he never expected to get.  He asked me why would G-d punish him when had tried all of his life to be good.  What he was asking was:  Why do bad things happen to good people”?

To begin to answer this question, we must first define what is “good” and “bad”.  On one level - having a lot of money, a fancy car, a couple of homes, and then passing away on the tennis court…… at 88, might be a really good life.  Yet if we think about the fact that we all have a soul and that the soul is eternal, then how many cars or homes we have for 88 years of that eternity, may not matter quite as much.  

Who might we say had a better life - a man who lives 80 years with little relationship with others and with G-d or someone who was born with a handicap, yet despite all difficulties and challenges, he developed a meaningful connection with both others and with G-d.  I will not propose answers to these questions today, but I do feel they are an important  part of the equation.

I heard a story of a farmer in a village in Russia who sold all of his goats to buy a horse.  The villagers all said what a great deal he had made. The farmer shrugged and said:  “I do not know whether this is good or bad”.

The next day the horse ran away.  The felt bad for the farmer and tried to comfort him.  The famer simply shrugged and said:  “I do not know whether this is good or bad”.

A few days later the horse returned, accompanied by nearly 20 other horses that followed him from the forest.  Now all the villagers said how good things worked out and how lucky he was, to which the farmer replied, “I do not know whether it is good or bad.” 

The farmer’s son went our riding on one of the new horses but got thrown from the horse and broke his leg.   The villagers came back and said how sad this was, to which the farmer replied “I do not know whether it is good or bad”. 

A few days later, the country declared war on its neighbor and drafted all able-bodied men to fight on the front.  All the young men of the village were taken except the farmer’s son. “Now” said the farmer, “I realize buying the horse was a indeed quite good.  The point of the story is we all have a very limited view of life and can’t always tell if something is truly good or bad.

Some people are quick to say that only good things come from G-d and negative things come from some other place.  I don’t buy that.  I think it is a little too “neat” and possibly even “cowardly”, from a theological perspective, to say G-d is responsible for the lollipops and chocolate drops in life, but when the dog bites or the bee stings, it is just your bad luck. Or even worse, that evil is simply: “Man’s Inhumanity To Man”.

On the other hand, I do not believe that G-d is not some wicked dictator who indiscriminately punishes the innocent along with the wicked. G-d is fair and just and most of all kind.  Therefore, whatever happens to a good person must be indeed be something good. 

Imagine a mother who takes her young child to the doctor. The doctor examines the child and prepares to give the child an injection.  The child sees the needle and starts to fidget. “I don’t want the shot, I want to go home.”  Please Mommy, “don’t let the mean man give me a shot.” 

By now the child is squirming all over the examination table.  Finally, the mother holds the child down while the doctor gives the injection. The doctor finishes his task and the child buries his face in moms shoulder.  Mom kisses the child on the head and embraces him and hugs him close.

My question is why?  The mother was a party to the crime. The mother was the one holding the baby so the doctor could stick him with the needle.  Mom is the enemy.  So why is it that after being stuck and hurt by the doctor/mother team, why would the baby then go to the mother for comfort? 

The answer is of paramount importance.  Virtually every healthy child instinctively knows that their mother loves them. If for some reason their mother held them down to get this shot, then at some level that they can’t quite understand, there must be something good about it.    The lesson here is: “Not everything that hurts is a punishment”.

The same thought process can be related to G-d.  Sometimes we may be crying.  It may seem to us at the time that G-d has allowed, or even worse has joined, with forces of evil to do us harm.  But this can not be!  We all instinctively know that G-d created us and loves us much more than any human parent could love their child.  So even after the sting or the bite we should be able to attain some degree of comfort by the knowledge and conviction that G-d loves us.

We know that G-d created the world and has a Divine Plan for the perfection of that world.  As a child may not understand the purpose of a particular injection, we too may not understand the purpose of a sting that seems so painful at the time.  And when good people are in pain - we all should share in their ache and hurting.  You see:

• I don’t understand why G-d would allow so much depth and upheaval in Darfur.
• I don’t understand why G-d would allow fires in Santa Barbra, CA to destroy hundreds of homes of good people, and
• I don’t understand why G-d would allow my good friend or anyone here to be sick or have pain in their life.

It bothers me when other people have pain in their lives and I pray to G-d that He alleviate that pain immediately.

Over the years I have seen too much suffering.  One thing that has become apparent to me is that a positive attitude is more beneficial than any other possible balm.  I have seen some people go through a difficult loss or illness and they have built up so much anger that they can’t get beyond that pain.  On the other hand, I have seen people go through the absolute most difficult situations imagined - yet their attitude was positive.  They accepted their situation with dignity and were an inspiration to myself and to others.

In our moments of difficulty and our days of distress, let us always remember that G-d loves us and try to maintain the best attitude we can, and let us say, Amain