Parshas Balak - The Meaning of Love
Parshas Balak
Good Shabbos! Most every prayer book begin morning prayers with the same few words. “Mah Tovu Ohalecha Yaakov, Mishkanosecha Yisroel - How good are your tents, O’ Jacob, your dwelling places, O’ Israel”.
The source for these words are found in this week’s portion. Amazingly enough, they were not uttered by any great figure such as Moses or Aaron. On the contrary, they were said by the wicked prophet, Bilam, in an attempt to curse the people of Israel.
Rashi notes that by seeing the words Bilam used to bless us, we can ascertain what Bilam intended to say in order to curse us. The Sforno explains that “tents” refer to houses of study and “dwelling places” refer to synagogues. Bilam knew that the only way to hurt the Jews was to sever them from the two most important areas of their lives - Torah study and prayer.
Torah is the wisdom of G-d. When we study Torah we unite with the wisdom of the Creator. Prayer further connects us with G-d and bolsters the connection of Torah study alone.
Bilam knew that fighting the Jew by attacking him physically could never work. With the help of G-d, the Jews have been victorious all of their enemies, including the mighty Emorites and the Bashanites. The only way to be victorious over the “People of the Book” was too sever them from the power of that Book. To sever them from the Book of Torah and from the Siddur - the prayer book.
So, the reason that we say this particular blessing every morning as we enter the synagogue is to remind us that Prayer and Torah Study are our deepest bonds to G-d and the source of our staying power, as the People of the Book.
(On this special Shabbos, we are fortunate to have with us Professor Henry Abramson, Dean of Affairs at Touro College in Florida. Professor Abramson has taught Torah topics in numerous cities around the world and we are honored to hear him share Torah with us at the Kiddush luncheon following this service. In this way, we will have both prayer connections of Prayer and Torah Study).
I would be remiss if I did not mention, that there is also a more common meaning of this verse. You will remember that Balak hired Bilam to curse the Jews. Time and again he tries, but G-d does not allow him to say a single negative thing. Finally, he climbs up a mountain to look down upon the Jews and possibly see something negative.
At that point he says, “How good are your tents O’ Jacob, your dwelling places, O’ Israel.” Rashi explains that when Bilam looked down upon the Jewish camp he saw that no tent faced another, so that upon leaving one’s home, one would not inadvertently see into the tent of another. In this way, the modesty and privacy of every family was preserved.
Which brings me to my final lesson for today - Family values. Among the people sponsoring Kiddush today, are husbands, wives, parents and children marking a birthday, or yahrzeit of a beloved next of kin. Two others are celebrating a wedding anniversary and Daniel Rosenberg is marking the very Shabbos before his upcoming marriage.
The lesson which Daniel should take from this portion is exemplified by the love of all of these other folks for their family. How good are your tents, O’, Jacob, your dwelling places, O’ Israel? The Jewish family and the Jewish home have always been envied by the nations of the world as the ideal haven of faith, love, care and mutual respect.
Our Sages teach that love is an expression comprised of two emotions. The first ingredient is caring. The second ingredient is respect. If one loves their spouse but refuses to accept them as they are, then they don’t really love them at all. They only love the spouse they would like them to one day become. On the other hand, to love them means to want the best for them - to believe in them and to help them to reach their fullest potential.
There is a beautiful lesson which can be realized from the story of Noah and his sons after the flood. It seems that Noah planted grapes which grew very quickly and he drank the wine from them and became very drunk. He fell asleep and one of his sons came in and saw his nakedness. He ran to tell his other brothers. The story continues that the brothers covered their father, but did not see his nakedness.
The obvious question is how could the brothers cover their father if they did not see his nakedness? The answer is that we see what we choose to focus upon. The two sons of Noah loved their father and therefore did not leave him naked for they cared for him and wanted the best for him. But they also chose not to focus on their father in his drunken state and therefore it was as if they did not even see his nakedness. They only saw their father and covered him respectfully.
This is the meaning of “love is blind”. When you are in love you need to choose not to see that which is not appropriate for you to see. Yet, on the other hand, you need to desire the very best for that other person, as well. Love means choosing to focus on the 95% of what is “good” in the other person and not the 2% or 3% of what might be “bad” or “ugly”.
I once heard a child say, “When they get married, they never want to have a baby.” I asked “Why not”? They answered because babies drool, cry at night, and they make smelly diapers. It seems that some people remain childish and focus only on the drool of a baby rather than the beauty, purity and innocence of every child.
- Love does not mean to ignore a diaper when it is soiled.
- Love does mean to appreciate the goodness of the other, even when that diaper is soiled.
By following this divine recipe for love, may we indeed be blessed with homes of joy, happiness, caring and mutual respect. May this in turn lead to the fulfillment of the rest of Bilam’s blessings, including the coming of the righteous Moshiach, and the era when all people will love one another with true caring and respect, and let us say Amain!
Tags: Add new tag, Love, Prayer, Torah Study
